Comments on: Mother’s Day

By: Utah mom

Utah mom — Sun, 10 May 2009 20:25:02 +0000

I am sympathetic toward your plight. I am a mom too. My sons are grown and on their own. A caution: I think it’s important that if you are putting yourself forward on the internet or elsewhere, that you are mindful of what you are portraying. Your message is heartfelt but full of misspellings. Employers notice that. Adult children living at home? Either that is enabling, selfish or someone has a disability that requires family support. Any adult parent that allows what you call “love” is crippling their adult child. What is you died tomorrow where would they be? If they used to relying on you, they don’t rely on themselves. Self reliance is a learned skill. I suggest you promote it. Use some tough love and let your “kids” go. Somebody has to grow up in your family. Unless you are handicapped, your behavior is abusive and a great example of misdirected “love”. You should be ashamed of yourself. Get into therapy. Therapists will take you on a sliding scale basis. Your “kids” will never grow up until you do.

By: The Repairer

The Repairer — Sat, 09 May 2009 23:54:16 +0000

Hi Lucielle. First and foremost, have a wonderful Mother’s Day! Raising 5 children to adulthood is an extraordinary accomplishment.

As for them still living with you, that in itself is not “bad.” Good and bad have more to do with their alignment to our goals than they do to absolutes.

Your situation is good because without your children’s contributions, you probably would not be able to afford your house. What’s bad is when you measure life by the concessions we make, like privacy and when you have to submit to your children because they are paying the bills. The easiest way I know to make such a situation “good” is to get together once a week for a household Board of Directors meeting and define a common mission and common goals for the entire family to work toward. Seeing each other as executives working together to make the “company” a success should get you through the inconveniences.

Finally, focus on these two key principles and you can have the job you want:
#1. Your primary purpose as an employee of ANY company is NOT to get paid, but to help make the company be more profitable. You use you best abilities, intelligence, and personality to make sure their clients want to come back again and again and you’re the perfect employee.

2. To have more than a just a job- a position- one must BE the very person they are looking for.

TRY these tips this week and let me know what happens:
1. Apply ONLY where you want to work
2. Think from their perspective, as if you are the business doing the hiring. What kind of employee do they need?
3. If you were them, write down some attributes of the perfect employee- who do they wish was working for them?
4. Then become THAT person and you will have the job.

Best,

The Repairer

By: Lucille

Lucille — Tue, 05 May 2009 16:34:21 +0000

I am a mother of 5. Yes, five children. But, they are all grown, and they still live with me! I am divorced for 16 years. It’s hard out there for them as to try and pay rent and going to school at the same time! They reange from 30 to 21. I don’t mind that they still live with me, I love them with all of my heart. But, times are tuff! I am presently enrolled in school and have been attending for 5 years! I need a job because I have a mortgage to pay off! My eldest daughter is paying it right now, and the others are paying the utilities. “It’s really hard.” I love going to school, but enought is enough! I’m also in dept, with a personal problem that I really needed! But, I didn’t realize that it would put me in a whole! Well, thanks alot for listening.

A mom whose trying to get things streightened out!